Seasons Greetings!
I'm trying to be happy but the tears have come on several occasions this morning already. I've discovered that pressing a fingernail sharply into the top of my thumb stops the urge to cry. Biting on my tongue has the same effect. It may sound strange, but it stopped that horrid choking feeling that you get when you feel as though you're going to cry. It worked for me anyway. Having said that the new Red Hot Chili Peppers song has put me in a fine mood. Love it!
I couldn't stay at the Christmas party long on Friday. I kept thinking about how he should have been there and it upset me terribly. I kept having to leave the table to have a quick weep in the foyer. There was a small sofa near the lifts in the hotel which was handy. I decided after the 3rd time of rushing out to dab my eyes that it might be best if I left so I just disappeared. I raced to the other side of town and found AH and his mates who'd been out for a blokey meal somewhere. It took my mind off things. I had a lot to drink, and then more back at a houseparty. Oh wel, it's Christmas.
The boyfriend has left for Leicester this morning and I kept clinging on to him as if I'd never see him again. I keep trying to tell myself that things are normal and ok, and that maybe we ought to try and make it work. But I think it's beyond that.
As for me, I'm catching a train home at 2pm. The last train home I think. I've got a ridiculous amount of presents in bags so I hope it's not too busy. I'm looking forward to being with family, but it's all tinged with this horrible sadness.
Happy Christmas all. x
24.12.06 13:08
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Sketches / Website (24.12.06 17:54) Hey Merry Christmas and i hope have a wonderful time with your family. |
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Rev. Qelqoth / Website (30.12.06 13:44) All the best for 2007! |
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lemonsong (30.12.06 14:00) Hey, I've just started blogging and came across yours by chance. Sounds like you're going through a pretty horrible time. Break ups are never easy but sadly they're a part of life. And while it might seem right now that the light's gone out in your world, it hasn't - it's still there, just a little dimmer. But please believe me it will start to get brighter, I promise. I hope you'd a good Christmas and, hey, who knows what this new year will bring. My advice? Take a pen and paper and write out what you'd like to happen in 2007, how you plan to achieve it and what the outcome will be if it happens. Making new goals is a good way of bringing some optimism into your life. It's always worked for me. My motto for this year: "onwards and upwards!" Have a good new year :-) |
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Welshchick / Website (7.1.07 16:07) Oh hey, thanks for your comments. I've not logged in here for a little while and didn't see them. Happy new year to you all too. lemonsong - Thank you! ! I'd come and have a look at your blog too but you haven't put a link in the comment. x |
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